If I had a dollar for every time I’ve said, “my life is crazy town!” in a DAY…this renovation would be paid for. Oh yea. That’s right. We are currently renovating our house.
…while living in it.
...with our three children ages, 6, 2 1/2, and 10 months.
...and our 5 month old puppy.
...who got electrocuted because he was chewing one of the many exposed electoral boxes.
But seriously, y’all.
Howdy, I’m the mayor.
During my prayer time last week I was thinking through all of the crazy we are currently living in and I finally just said, “Lord, PLEASE don’t let us make any more stupid decisions!” and what I meant to say was, “Lord, PLEASE help us to be wise in the future decisions we make!”
Ha. The Lord knows my heart, so my mouth was just speaking truth.
Do you ever stop and look around at your life and try and step outside of yourself?
Like, how does everything look from the outside?
Am I holding this together?
Who keeps making my life crazy? OH RIGHT- ME!
Why do we do that? Why do we add stress to our own lives? Well, if you’re me or my husband, it’s because we like to live in a perpetual state of, “Hi, we’re gluttons for punishment.”
That sounds miserable. And our lives are joy-filled…but seriously, we are a couple of gluttons!
I think it’s because we are just naturally always pursuing tasks, or goals, or SOMETHING. We always want to be striving for some. thing. I don’t think that’s bad, but I do think it can become a beast. It can consume our lives and our happiness.
And in the middle of the self-made hurricane, are my three precious children.
How do they feel about it all?
How do they like the sudden change and the literal ripping our home to pieces aspect?
I never really asked. I never really considered. Until my daughter, Ava, walked out angrily one afternoon from me and under her breath mumbled, “Why’d you have to ruin our house?”
Perspective. It’s so important. And I hadn’t considered hers. At least not until that point.
What do things look like from where she stands? From what she comprehends? From her “normal”?
I am the adult making decisions in her favor, although it may not look like that now. I see things she can’t. I see family meals in our house around a table every night for the FIRST TIME in the almost 2 years we’ve lived in this house. I see the late night snuggles on our couch, after making sundaes, while we watch her favorite movie. I see the Bible study evenings with friends and families from our church and community where we will pour into the lives of people we love and people Jesus longs to know. I can see all of that and so much more. But right now…right now it just looks a lot like a mess. A dusty, insulated, hot, mess.
So she responds to what she sees. And what she sees isn't good. But it’s work. It’s the work in progress leading to the ultimate home we have envisioned for her and her brothers.
Why doesn’t she see that?…because she’s human. Because she's stuck on what’s right in front of her. Because she’s just like you and she’s just like me, when we are too distracted, too FIXATED, on the mess in front of us, to see the beauty of what God is preparing for us in the future.
And beneath all of it...all of the groaning and complaining and questioning "Why me, Lord?" is a whole lot of selfishness and pride. Man, it consumes us. But in the mean time, if we can manage to step away and look at everything, think through everything, PRAY about everything, we will see God working. We will see the beauty.
So while I sit here preaching to myself, at my computer, while the good people of Crazy Town are sleeping, I can smile. At least a little.
...because everything is a work in progress. Whether it's my house, my children, or my own heart. "And He who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." Phil 1:6
With love & laughter,
Mom 2 Mom
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