Many of you moms may have been listening to your local christian radio station this week. Many of you may have even heard the same discussion about parenting and marriage priorities that I heard. When the discussion first came on air I have to admit my mind was hundreds of miles away with issues of what would be for supper that night and exactly when I was going to find time to do the artwork I needed to be doing. As the questions were posed on the show one grabbed my attention and made me sit up a little straighter thinking that I wished someone had suggested that to me when my children were young. That being said I thought I'd like to share it with you.
The question was, "If you could give one very helpful piece of advice to young couples who are currently raising children what would it be?" The guy being interviewed responded with this idea:
Teach your children that although you and your spouse love each other very much, marriage is not always easy. It has to be worked at every day. At night, it is the child's job to go to bed when bedtime arrives without complaint or stall. The reason that is so important is because that's your time to do the daily work on our marriage. In order to keep your marriage strong you have to talk and cuddle and just be together uninterrupted. If little darlings constantly get out of bed and whine and interrupt you, your work goes undone. You want your family to remain strong and because of that desire there needs to be an understanding. If they interrupt that important time you need for marriage work, they will be held accountable. The amount of time they took from your marriage will be spent with them in their room (or something similar) the following day. I know that sounds harsh but mom and dad's relationship is just that important and we shouldn't allow it to be pushed aside. Tell them that if you can have this time every night (and there will be exceptions of course), you promise they will love the parents that mommy and daddy are even more. You will be more rested, more patient, and more loving to each other... just what a family should be.
These words are paraphrased somewhat as I was actually driving when it came on so I couldn't write verbatim. However, you get the idea. Marriage IS hard. We do need to work on it daily. Our children need to be fully aware of this fact. Of course, when your children are really small they won't be able to grasp the concept but don't underestimate their ability to grasp the concept of cause and effect when they are approaching 2 years of age. They will understand that mom and dad are serious about their "work". They will understand when mom supports dad and dad supports mom in this time being theirs. They will also understand and appreciate it as they see mom and dad smiling at each other, holding hands, and happily walking through life together as a loving couple. A loving couple makes a loving family. I think this suggestion could have made life so much easier and more relaxed when our three were little. As a "empty nester" my advice would be that it is definitely worth a try!
Walking the road with you,
Mom 2 Mom
Being a mom is not the easiest job in the world but it's one of utmost importance. Sometimes we just need to share the ideas, difficulties and joys in the journey of raising children. We pray Mom2Mom can help.
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