Greg and I have been blessed with the most precious little granddaughter. She is developing quite the personality and has her own ideas about almost everything. She is involved so deeply in play most of the time that its impossible to get her to notice who is in the room. She lines up her babies and let me see...there's Allison, Minnie Mouse and, oh yes, we can't forget Bar-B-Q (I think I used to call a similar doll Barbie). Our little Harper is funny and her own unique little person but she is and will always be pure joy in our hearts.
As I remember times gone by with her I smile, yet, I can get deeply melancholy too. You see, my son and his family live in Colorado and we seldom get to see them in the flesh. I do thank God for our once a week Facetime dates though! Memories and the Iphone screen will just have to sustain us for now. I'm sure many of you grandparents can relate to that situation... not ideal but reality none the less.
As I quietly reminisce about staying with her while they were still in Charleston, I realized that as cute as she was there was still a strong-willed little person behind that precious face. I remember changing a diaper through the twists and contortions that a nearly one year old could make proved to be quite a feat. She would want the toy she saw in the distance, then she would want the photos that were above her on the wall, then she would just get exacerbated and want me to be finished!
Truth be told, I wanted to be finished too. I never liked to see her unhappy and she would get that way fast! If she could have only realized that being still meant we would have been done in a flash. All of this thrashing about only prolonged the inevitable! We were going to change that stinky diaper one way or another. After all what’s the alternative? Well, she could stay in the mess, get diaper rash, have mom and dad question my adeptness at taking care of their precious baby girl. (Not a chance that I would let that happen! I wanted to continue babysitting!) So with a forearm against her chest, a leg braced against the furniture, and my tongue hanging out I remembered we would finally close the last tab on the Pamper. (Well, maybe I exaggerated a little but you get the picture.)
Do you think God ever feels that way about us? Does He ever look down on us from that place of authority and love and say “Girl, what are you doing! You are looking at the short term uncomfortable situation and resisting at every turn. Don’t you realize I know the plan? Don’t you realize if you don’t go through this inconvenient and difficult time now you won’t see the joy I have for you later? Trust me, I know best for you in this moment. I’m only allowing it because I know the end result. I’m allowing it because I love you. Yes, that’s right. The loan falling through for that new car is to teach you contentment doesn’t come through ‘stuff’. Trouble in your marriage is because I want you to pull close to me in your pain. The cancer diagnosis, although I did not bring it to you will teach you compassion and wisdom for others in similar situations as yours. The wayward teenager can show no matter how perfectly you think YOU parent them, outside forces are still at work in the world. Yet nothing happens without my full knowledge of it. I knew all of this would happen. I even knew you would fight against me as I tried to guide you through it with the best of parental intentions. I knew you wouldn’t understand right away but I took that chance. I took the chance that you might turn away from me. I took the chance you would say you didn’t love me anymore. I took the chance because as much as that would hurt me, seeing you miss out on the molding and pruning and growth would hurt me more. I’ll wait until you stop thrashing. I’ll wait so I can pick up the broken pieces and put you back together stronger in ME than you have ever been. I’ll just wait….”
I hate to admit that frequently when I am in the middle of struggles and hurts, I’m like little Harper just tensing my neck and thrashing about trying to get out of the situation all by myself. I become like a viper ready to attack. That's an ugly picture but it's true. It’s hard to see that through the anger, hurt, and pain that my Father stands close by patiently waiting for me to relax my muscles and give up the fight. But goodness, if I could see that sooner I would sure sail around some heartache instead of right through the middle! That’s not what He wants though. He wants growth from us. He wants growth toward trusting a Father who would never let us fall without being there to hold us and guide us when we finally looked up… when we realized the last diaper tab has been fastened and the difficulty was over. He wants us to realize that we have traveled through the hard stuff and am better for having faced it hand-in-hand with our Father.
Traveling the road with you,
Mom 2 Mom
Being a mom is not the easiest job in the world but it's one of utmost importance. Sometimes we just need to share the ideas, difficulties and joys in the journey of raising children. We pray Mom2Mom can help.
If you have any ideas or advice to share with our readers, please click the button below to share with us.