"It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the
way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone (or
even on the toilet) and ask to be taken somewhere. Inside I'm thinking,
'Can't you see I'm busy?' Obviously, not. No one can see if I'm on the
phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in
the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The
invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can
you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a
clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What
number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a taxi to order,'Right around 5:30,
please.' I was certain that these were the hands that once held books
and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum
laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be
seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a
friend from England.
Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on
and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking
around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare
and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when
Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I
brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I
wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her
inscription: 'To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what
you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would
discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after
which I could pattern my work.
No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of
their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they
would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no
credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that
the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the
cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny
bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why
are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be
covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman
replied, 'Because God sees.'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was
almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see
the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No
act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've
baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a
great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a
disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my
own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As
one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see
finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The
writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever
be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to
sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend
he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My mom gets up at
4:00 in the morning and bakes homemade pies. Then she hand bastes a
turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That
would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him
to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his
friend, to add, 'you're gonna love it there.' As mothers, we are
building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right.
And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at
what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world
by the sacrifices of invisible women.
Great Job, MOM!
Share this with all the Invisible Moms you know... I just did. Hope this
encourages you when the going gets tough as it sometimes does. We
never know what our finished products will turn out to be because of our
(Found on Mamapedia)
I hope you have been encouraged by reading this. I know I was. It's so easy to get caught up in the self-pity of having our individual selves pushed to the back burner while we raise our children. It's also easy to find ourselves striving for "super mom"status by trying to surpass other moms in the "perfectness" category. As a mom of three children, two daughters-in-love, and one beautiful little grandaughter, who have already left not only the nest but live hundreds of miles away from that nest, I can attest to the fact that those daily chores done with perfection are NOT what you will want your children to remember decades from now. All that will matter is that they want to come back to a place they called home for 18 + years ... a place where their hearts can be at rest and where they know they can relive those "momma hug" moments that can not be felt anywhere else no matter how far they roam.
Walking the road with you,
I have had the absolute pleasure of getting to know this special little sweetie who along with her family have recently been assigned to Shaw AFB here in Sumter. God gave me a great blessing when he nudged Charlie's Mom, Emma, to visit our MOPS group at Alice Drive Baptist. Emma, Charlie, and little sister, Chloe have become great buddies of mine through our Thursday mornings together. Charlie also visits me at my home from time to time where we enjoy playing and making healthy snacks. The one we made on this particular date was frozen blueberry yogurt balls (Charlie and I call them ice cream balls because that just sounds more fun!)
You will need:
vanilla flavored greek yogurt
a cookie sheet
All you do is put about 1/2 cup of yogurt in a bowl ,roll one blueberry at the time in the yogurt trying to keep some extra yogurt with each blueberry (I find it easiest to use the tip of a small spoon). Place each ball individually on a piece of wax paper lining the cookie sheet. Once you've filled the whole sheet where they don't touch each other place the cookie sheet in the freezer. 30 minutes and you're ready to eat blueberry ice cream balls! If you don't tell your little ones (or even your husband) they are are actually healthy then they will gobble them up... guaranteed! What they don't eat right away peel off the cookie sheet and put in single serving zippered bags in your freezer. You can pull a bag out at any time and have the perfect healthy snack. Because as we learned in last week's Mom2Mom blog:
"A virtuous woman cares for her body. She prepares healthy food for her family."
Walking the road with you,
This week I came across some characteristics for God’s idea of a virtuous woman. Each characteristic was referenced as to where it was found in scripture (although I did not include that here). What I wanted to include for you as wives and mothers, however, was the meat of what it said and how knowing these things can actually free us instead of burdening us. Here’s what I found: I realized upon reading the list that it did not mention that God expected us to be computer experts, it never said we had to organize the perfect “Pinterest inspired” birthday parties for our children, it never mentioned that the toilets in our homes had to be clean enough to eat off of, and it never even said we had to feel like making love to our husbands every night that he felt the urge. What it did allude to is that if we are women of God then all the aspects and requirements of us as wives and mothers will be natural things: things that happen because we carry within us the love for Christ and therefore the love for others. This is what the list said:
Faith - A Virtuous Woman serves God with all of her heart, mind, and soul. She seeks His will for her life and follows His ways.
Marriage- A Virtuous Woman respects her husband. She does him well all the days of her life. She is trustworthy and a helpmate.
Mothering - A Virtuous Woman teaches her children the ways of her Father in heaven. She nurtures her children with the love of Christ, disciplines them with care and wisdom, and trains them in the way they should go.
Health - A Virtuous Woman cares for her body. She prepares healthy food for her family.
Service - A Virtuous Woman serves her husband, her family, her friends and her neighbors with a gentle and loving spirit. She is charitable.
Finances - A Virtuous Woman seeks her husband’s approval before making purchases and she spends money wisely. She is careful to purchase quality items which her family needs.
Industry - A Virtuous Woman works willingly with her hands. She sings praises to God and does not grumble while completing her tasks.
Homemaking - A Virtuous Woman is a homemaker. She creates an inviting atmosphere of warmth and love for her family and guests. She uses hospitality to minister to those around her.
Time - A Virtuous Woman uses her time wisely. She works diligently to complete her daily tasks. She does not spend time dwelling on those things that do not please the Lord.
Beauty - A Virtuous Woman is a woman of worth and beauty. She has the inner beauty that only comes from Christ. She uses her creativity and sense of style to create beauty in her life and the lives of her loved ones.
Moms and wives, please take a close look at these statements. Notice that staying close to your Heavenly Father is all you need to be called “Blessed” and to possess the desire to serve your family and others well. He doesn’t ask for perfection but for giving your best in a loving manner. It’s the attitude I believe He desires not so much the action. He asks for us to put Him, our families and our neighbors at the forefront of everything we do and every decision we make. Basically, he’s asking us to keep our eyes on Him and not the world as we climb out of bed each morning. So let’s push off the heavy loads the world has placed on our shoulders and live letting Jesus lighten every step.
Walking the road with you,
Blessed are those who fear the Lord, who find great delight in his commands. Their children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed. Even in darkness, light dawns for the upright, for those who are gracious and compassionate and righteous. -Psalm 112:1-2; 4
When the children vocalize those dreaded words “I’m bored” try this idea:
Make your own bubble solution in a small child’s pool or large pan:
2 cups Joy dishwashing detergent
6 cups water
¾ cup of Karo corn syrup.
Combine all 3 ingredients and stir. (You can double or triple recipe)
Set aside for a few hours and do not stir anymore.
Bubbles work best on humid days when not in direct sun.
Use a shaped wire coat hanger or fly swatter dipped in solution for hours of cool fun!
Mom 2 Mom
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