“A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord determines his steps.” Proverbs 16:9
I am a planner by nature. I like a plan and I like to stick to the plan. In 2013, I thought ahead to 2014 and I had grand plans! I started planning away! Vacations, selling a home, financial goals, and personal goals, were just a few of my plans. It was all perfect! It was all without a glitch! The timing was all going to be perfect and I should not have too much stress! I had plans! God had plans too! God had ordained my plans. God wants good things for me. So…I planned my way and my Father determined my steps. God had a few detours for me to take.
Dreams of a future home interrupted by the unexpected death of my father. Celebration of birthdays…. my second child is 16? Where did the time go? We sold our home of 9 years, had to be out in 3 weeks and amidst the chaos, our oldest graduated from college! Finally out of our home, into an apartment only to leave on a week -long trip 5 days later. At one point I had 3 children away on separate summer trips in 3 different countries. Oldest child starts a job and the other 2 start school…only for my mom to break her foot and she is a couple of hours away…and she lives alone. Taking care of mom with a major project in the works and my family survives with a very distracted mom/wife. December arrives and I attempt to decorate the apartment for Christmas and our apartment floods…the entire apartment in an inch of water. Get that mess cleaned up (and it is Christmas!) and the apartment above us floods…water through our ceiling. This is 2014 revisited for my family.
Why heartbreak while I was celebrating? Why stress when there is joy in my face? Why does the timing have to feel so off? Why does it feel like every year the changes get harder?
God allows me to plan, because He wants me to find Him in them. If He allowed every one of my plans to go off without a hitch, I would think too highly of myself. God wants me to seek Him in all things and if all things go well all of the time…well, I forget to look for Him! God knows this about me and He loves me too much to allow me to get away with it.
I can choose to look back at 2014 and think, “That was stressful!” But I have chosen to look back and see:
I still have a future home in the works. My mother is doing well. My children are all healthy and growing, as they should. My marriage is stronger every day and my God…my Father in heaven…He is walking beside me every step of the way. When I celebrate, so does He. When I hurt, He holds my heart. When I love, He gives me the capacity to love more!
Praise Him for determining my steps!
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