It’s been a quiet afternoon; something I’m not used to. Normally on Saturdays, especially during football season, the house is noisy. I like noise. I like a full house with a lot of activity. I guess it’s been that way for so long that I don’t know what to do with the quiet.
I suggested to Hunter, the dog, that we go for a walk. She lifted her head up, looked at me for a second, and put it right back down. “Yeah, I didn’t really want to walk either,” I told her. Listen, when I resort to exercise, things are getting bad…really bad.
Years ago, I remember my Dad calling to make sure the kids and I had arrived safely home after a visit. He commented about how quiet the house was after we drove off. I remember him saying that the silence was so very loud.
I’m beginning to understand what he meant by that. One is married and gone, one is off at college, one is a senior in high school and off with his friends, and one is in a deer stand.
Silence really can be loud…go figure.
I don’t really like it very much. I’m sure there are many of you who know exactly what I’m talking about.
It’s funny how during the child rearing years I would try so hard to find a quiet place, a moment of solitude. I can remember loving to cut the grass because I couldn’t hear any of the kids calling “Mama” over the sound of the lawn mower.
Things have sure changed. Now I love to hear one of them call my name, especially the ones that are gone. It thrills my heart when I hear, “Hey, Mama.”
The football game is boring; I don’t feel like vacuuming, even though I really need to, Hunter and I nixed the whole exercise thing, so I decide to discuss the situation with my heavenly Father.
“I love my children, Lord, and I love spending time with them,” I tell him.
I hear Him gently speak into my heart, “Yes, I know.”
“I really like hearing them call my name.” I continue.
“Yes, it is a sweet sound, isn’t it?” He whispers back.
“It’s really hard sometimes when they are busy and going in different directions and don’t have time to spend with me.”
“I know, my child, I know.”
I get this gnawing feeling in my gut. It occurs to me that He probably really does know. Probably more than I realize.
Suddenly, I begin to feel ashamed. I think I just acknowledged to the God of all creation that I decided to spend time with Him only because the football game was boring, I didn’t want to vacuum, and because I hate exercise more than I hate standing in a bed of fire ants.
Of course God knows how I feel when it comes to desiring time with my children. He desires time with His children, too. In fact, He desires fellowship with us so much that He sent His Son to die on a cross so that we could have access to Him whenever we wanted. And I am choosing to sit with Him only after I run through my other options? People, I even considered exercise… this is a sobering realization. Not one that I am very proud of.
He loves for us to call out His name. He never tires of hearing it. He never gets on the heavenly lawnmower so He can’t hear us. He likes the commotion of His children talking to Him. He never tires of it. How it must hurt His heart when we are too busy to spend time with Him.
King David longed for time with his God. Maybe that’s why he was known as a man after God’s own heart. He delighted in his God and his God delighted in him. David shared his joys as well as his heartaches with His Father.
I want to be a woman after God’s own heart.
I want to be keenly aware of every opportunity to sit and visit with My Father.
I want to be like Mary sitting at Jesus feet, soaking in all that He is saying.
“You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water.” Psalm 63:1
Have a great week!
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