Have you ever had one of those days where you feel totally inadequate as a mom? Like when your kids decide to have a firework war and use your car as home base?
Please note the ages of the two in the back and the fascinating markings on my car.
What mother, on the 4th of July, thinks about telling her children to not have a firework war and use her car as a fortress? Especially when they are old enough to carry a driver's license and to vote. Of all the things I have thought to tell them not to do, that’s just not one that ever crossed my mind.
And for all you supportive "boy momma" friends who are saying, “That’s just what boys do,” I want you to know that the only reason the girls were not in the picture was because they were taking them.
Nobody was innocent that night…nobody.
There have been times over the years were I have found myself thinking, “What in the world, God, could You have been thinking when You gave me four kids? Did You have any idea that I would be this bad at parenting?”
I can still remember when I brought my first born home. I had absolutely no idea what to do with him. Mothering just didn’t come naturally for me like it did for some of my other friends. They were so good at it. They just instinctively knew what to do. I guess I figured that the same thing would happen for me. When it didn’t, I panicked.
My first hint that things were going to be rough came when I was still in the hospital. Friends told me that they always knew when the nurse was bringing their baby to be fed because they recognized the cry…not me. In fact, when I heard a crying baby coming down the hall, I would start praying, “Oh please, don’t let it be mine.”
When I brought Drew home, my mom stayed with me for a week. When she left, I sat on the sofa and cried. I knew that I had made the biggest mistake of my life. I wasn’t cut out to be a mother. Why didn’t he come with a manual? I needed instructions. As I explained all this to God, He remained silent.
Now when I look back over those first months of motherhood, I realize that God wasn’t silent because He didn't hear me, He was just waiting for me to become teachable; to surrender my ideas on parenting and allow Him to show me how to parent. I'm still learning, but oh my word, how I love being a mother!
Please note that I said I loved being a mother, not that I was good at it or that it was was easy.
You know what? Mothering is just plain hard sometimes. I don’t care how old our children get; every season brings an astonishing mixture of joy and tears. There are peaceful seasons when we feel like maybe, just maybe, we got some things right. But for most of us, there are those stormy seasons when our hearts are torn to pieces and we wonder where we went wrong.
There have been times when all I have had to cling to is the truth of God’s Word. When I have had to make a conscious decision to trust Him with my child. I’m sure many of you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Moms, we can train and teach and encourage and speak truth and attempt to effect outward behavior, but only God can change a heart. We all know Proverbs 22:6, "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not turn from it." I have quoted this verse to myself more times than I can count, and I choose to believe it.
Honestly, sometimes I do find myself saying, "Okay, God, I'm ready for them to be old now." Especially when I see the rocket's red glare in my car and not in the sky.
I ran across this in the book, When the Handwriting on the Wall is in Brown Crayon by Susan Lenzkes. Thought y'all might enjoy it.
but there definitely was not
a packet of instructions
attached to my children
when they arrived.
And none has since
Come through my mailbox.
Lord, show me how
to be a good parent.
Teach me to
correct without crushing,
help without hanging on,
listen without laughing,
surround without smothering,
and love without limit-
the way You love me.
Have a great week!
Welcome to our blog page! We hope you will find stories here to encourage you.
We would love for you to share your story with us. Click the button above to send us a story about what God is doing in your life.